Blinding
by AxTrizzap
Summary: 'The doctor in the photo needed to find danger to feel something. If she were to do that, maybe it would break her away from her emotionless state.' Set after the car scene in "The Doctor in the Photo".
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bones. No matter how much I want to.

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Just to let you know, the fic this is inspired by "Blinding" by Florence and the Machine. Which I am also madly in love with.

Heck if I know where this is going yet. Any thoughts?

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She'd always been closed off. She knew that. Always trying to isolate her emotions, because when you're dealing with death and depression every day, they become too much to carry. So, she decided, that if you force yourself not to feel anything, you won't be disappointed when things don't work out in the end.

Secretly, though, Brennan always wished someone would change her. Prove her wrong about all she believed. A bit like something that would happen in an unrealistic romance movie.

In just one day, the doctor in the photo had changed her. Brennan had succumbed to the idea of fate after Booth had saved her, and had the very same idea ripped away from her just seconds later. How stupid could she be to think Booth would give up his love just to be with her? Hannah was his soul mate, if such a thing even existed. Brennan didn't know anymore.

Nothing in life was as simple or perfect as they made it out to be in movies. There was suffering and pain and death out there, and even though she dealt with it every day as a forensic anthropologist, was it wrong of her never to have felt the pain she was feeling right now?

Brennan knew she was lying when she'd told Booth she would be fine alone. She was laying in bed, but every time she fell asleep she'd either slip into a dream that would either leave her more brokenhearted or more terrified.

The image of the doctor in the photo flashed through her mind. Her face. Her hair. Her eyes. She _was_ this woman.

The doctor needed to find danger to feel something. If she were to do that, maybe it would break her away from her emotionless state. That's what she was. Emotionless. Sadness had passed as soon as she'd left the car with Booth. Now she didn't feel anything. She was numb.

Climbing out of bed, the idea was already swirling in her mind. Slowly, feeling as if she were in a dream, she found herself at her bedroom window. So far from the ground…it was perfect. The danger would make her feel something.

Biting her lip, she gripped the walls with her hands and hoisted herself up into the open window. Staring down, she saw cars and people, most too busy to notice the woman looking down on them. Brennan turned her head to spot an air conditioner poking out of the building. It would give her enough room to stand, but not enough that she would feel secure.

Brennan gripped one of the intricate, small ledges that lined the building and stepped up onto the machine, her arms now in a horizontal line as she held onto the ledge behind her and looked down again.

Suddenly, a car pulled to a screech on the side of the road. It looked familiar, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She leaned forward slightly, feeling in control; like nothing could harm her. Like a dream.

"Bones, what the hell are you doing?" Booth's voice rang, but it seemed distant, like he wasn't really there.

A jolt beneath her feet caused her to yelp, awakening her from her dreamlike state. The air conditioner was detaching itself from the wall, leaving her with barely any protection from the drop that would no doubt kill her if she fell. Brennan gripped to the ledges behind her, praying that she wouldn't fall.

"Bones!" Booth didn't need to be asked. He flew into the apartment with speed he barely recognized as his own, shoving people out of the way as needed. He darted up the stairs, hardly caring if he fell in the process, and pushed open Brennan's unlocked door.

Another scream came from the window as the air conditioner collapsed, allowing Brennan to lose balance. She flailed her arms wildly in attempt to somehow stay balanced, but it was no use. She would fall.

Just as she braced herself as much as she could for the drop, a pair of strong arms pulled her in. Still obviously in shock, Brennan wriggled in his arms, her fear keeping her from crying or even speaking.

"Calm down, Bones, you're fine," Booth spoke softly, as if he were to alarm her if he was too loud.

Brennan sat in the windowsill, unwilling to remove herself from his arms as she stared down at the small crowd that had gathered to watch the show.

"Thank you," she whispered, trying to shake the fear from herself.

Even after nearly falling and scaring herself to death, Brennan had to admit to herself that feeling afraid of the fall was better than feeling nothing. Anything was better than feeling nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lostone16: **Glad you like it!

**Xoxokiss210: **Thanks! :)

**SouthunLady: **Haha. Me too. Silly me, not thinking up plots before I write.

**Chrystal Rose: **Thank you! There will most certainly be more...once I stop typing this...which should be...about _now. _XD

"Temperance, what were you even thinking?" Booth growled as he paced back and forth along her bedroom floor. It was a wonder he wasn't wearing a hole in it. If the fact that he was practically giving her a lecture didn't let her know that he was completely serious with her, the use of her first name did.

"Booth..." Brennan began as she sat on her bed, trying to find the right words to calm him down.

"I can't believe you'd do something as stupid as that!" Booth exclaimed.

"I wasn't going to jump," she replied, feeling more and more like a little kid being yelled at by her parents.

"What were you trying to do then, Bones?" He paused in his spot on the floor and sighed, running a hand through his dark hair.

Brennan bit down on her bottom lip, trying to figure out how to answer the question without being called crazy. She couldn't tell him. He wouldn't understand what it was like to feel nothing, would he? He had a loving girlfriend and a great kid. No. He wouldn't get it. There were some things she just had to keep to herself.

"What were you even doing here?" Brennan decided it was a good time to change the subject.

"After I started to head home, I knew you weren't okay," Booth began, cutting Brennan off as she probably began to say something about how he couldn't know that. "It's happened a lot, Bones. Don't tell me it's impossible."

Brennan sighed softly. "Thank you, Booth. But Hannah must be worried sick about you."

"I called her. Everything's fine." Booth took a seat beside Brennan on the bed.

"I don't know how I can live like this, Booth," Brennan murmured suddenly after a long moment of silence, continuing before Booth had the chance to apologize or reply. "It's not just you...it would be derisory of me to expect you to break Hannah's heart just to be with me. You told me you had to move on, and you did. It's not your fault. But...I'm afraid. If I died tomorrow, I'd die with regrets. Everyone has regrets, but I feel powerless when I'm unable to turn them around. Nobody would be around to miss me aside from the people I work with. I'm just like her, Booth."

Diamond tears were sliding down Brennan's cheeks now, which were flushed, no doubt reluctant resultants of the frozen December air. Booth, acting on instinct, pulled her into his warmth and wrapped his arms around her, giving her back gentle rubs and pats of comfort. He didn't feel ashamed of it. He loved Hannah, and he knew Hannah knew it too. But that wouldn't change the commitment he felt to Brennan, which he refused to admit was more than a very strong partnership.

"Bones, you're not powerless. You've never been powerless. And I don't want to hear that 'if I died tomorrow nobody would miss me' crap from you. I know it seems like having your strongest bonds formed in the place you work is pathetic, but it's not. We'd all miss you, but I can tell you that nobody could miss you as much as me. You and I have formed one of the strongest connections I've ever felt, and I know that if _I_ died tomorrow you'd feel the same way about me." Booth stroked her windswept auburn hair as she sniffled against his shoulder.

"Thank you, Booth," she murmured hoarsely. "Nobody's ever made me feel so...close."

He nodded his 'you're welcome' as she looked up at him, watery eyed and a weak, seemingly forced smile planted on her face. Tentatively, he used his thumb to swipe a tear from just under one of her clear blue eyes.

No matter who he was with or what kind of connections he'd form with others, he knew none would ever come so close as to force his connection with Brennan out of his life.


	3. Chapter 3

**dr. tempe bones: **Thanks! I would've added more, but I was failing a bit due to the fact that it was one in the morning...heehees.

**SouthunLady: **Ahaha, who _isn't_ tired of Hannah at this point? I know he loves Brennan, but I think he at least _thinks_ he loves Hannah too. :P

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Brennan had spent the rest of the previous night curled in Booth's arms, wishing like never before that they could stay that way forever. She'd barely slept, and as exhausted as she was, she'd stay awake for eternity if it meant Booth never leave.

Booth didn't sleep at all. He'd spent the night simply watching her, giving her soft auburn hair long, gentle strokes as she slept on and off.

But now the night had left, along with most of Brennan's quiet sniffles and watery tears. He knew he needed to go soon and explain to Hannah why he never came home, but how could he leave her here like this?

"Bones," he began softly, gazing down at her slumped, exhausted form. "Will you be alright if I head home for a few seconds? And when I say 'alright', that means no climbing out on the ledge of a building."

Brennan wanted to tell him to stay, that she needed him here, but kept her mouth shut as she realized it would be completely selfish and it wasn't Booth's responsibility to stay here with her.

"I'll be fine," she murmured in reply, shifting in his lap slightly, seeming not to realize that she had to move in order for him to get up. "I need to get ready for work anyway."

"Oh no. No way, Bones." Of course, even after a life threatening experience, the first thing Bones would think about is work.

"What? Why not?" Brennan furrowed her brow as she looked up at him.

"You almost got yourself killed. You don't think that stands on grounds for a personal day?" Booth shook his head. No way he was going to let her go anywhere until she was okay.

"I'm perfectly capable of isolating my emotions while I work," she objected.

"You know that's not good for you." Booth sighed.

"But it works." Brennan rubbed at her eye, which was red from crying so much the previous night.

"I'm not letting you out of here until _I'm _convinced you're fine, Bones," he informed her.

"What do you suggest I do all day, then?" Brennan sighed.

"Well, try to get some rest for now. I have to go explain to Hannah why I didn't come home last night." _Should be interesting, _he thought bitterly.

"Okay," she replied hoarsely, reluctantly climbing out of his arms and onto the mattress.

Booth's gaze lingered on her for a moment before he got up. He couldn't put his worry that she'd do something dangerous again into the back of his mind. Booth glanced at her again to find she was sleeping already. Hopefully she'd stay that way until he got back.

The roads were incredibly busy, as if they were deliberately trying to make him slower. It took him nearly ten minutes longer than it should have to get home. All he wanted was to apologize to Hannah for leaving her alone the previous night and get back to Bones.

"Seeley." A seemingly forced smile swept across the blonde's face as he stepped into the house.

"Hey, Hannah. Sorry I couldn't make it home last night. A lot's happened." Booth, despite everything going on with Brennan, forced a smile at the blonde.

"I can imagine. We should probably talk." Hannah took a seat on the couch, and Booth mimmicked her by taking a seat as well.

"Brennan almost got hit by a car last night," Booth began the story.

He told her the whole thing. Brennan's weirdness with the Dr. Eames case, their short but emotional conversation in the car, Brennan nearly falling to her death.

By the time he'd finished, Hannah didn't have the angry or shocked look that he'd expected from her. Instead, a small but sad smile resided on her face. "I understand."

"Understand what?" Booth gave her a puzzled look.

"What I have to do," Hannah replied softly. "I have to leave, Seeley."

"What? Don't be crazy, Hannah. Everything's fine." He shook his head.

"I know you love her, Booth. I could tell since the moment I met her. I don't want to get in the way of that." The blonde leaned over and kissed his cheek before rising from the couch.

Booth watched wordlessly, shocked and almost impressed at how calm she was after all of this.

"It's not like that between me and Brennan, Hannah." Booth managed to form the sentence.

"I know. You're too good a man to become unfaithful, and I appreciate that. But you have to look everywhere else before you see what's right in front of you, right?" Hannah forced a half-smile.

Before Booth could reply as he stood up, Hannah cut him off. "Get back to her, Seeley. I'll be out of here soon."

And with a hug that could only suggest goodbye, Hannah seemed to dissolve from his life like it was a cycle.


End file.
